


Trust Me

by SelenaTerna



Series: Missing Scenes [1]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Light Angst, Missing Scene, Post-Episode: s01e14 The Christmas Invasion, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:51:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8712637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenaTerna/pseuds/SelenaTerna
Summary: He'd kept it from her. She'd doubted him. But they were still them, still Rose Tyler and the Doctor.And it was Christmas.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goingtothetardis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingtothetardis/gifts).



> This one-shot is set just after TCI, after Jackie and Mickey have gone upstairs.
> 
> I wrote it because I always wondered how Rose and the Doctor had dealt with the fact that he'd kept something so huge from her and as a result she'd doubted him. It's not the kind of thing that just goes away, so, cue scene! 
> 
> This fic is dedicated to the amazing mountaingirlheidi, whose kindness and guidance to a new whofic writer has been so very needed and so much appreciated. She's given me the confidence to start posting my work. This is my thank you.

“You don’t trust me.”

Rose spun and stared at the Doctor as the ash of the destroyed Sycorax ship swirled round them. “What?”

“You don’t trust me,” he repeated quietly, his eyes intent on her face.

_Brown eyes, instead of blue._

Rose glared at him, this tall, skinny man who had replaced the Doctor she knew. “Think it’s the other way ‘round actually, Doctor.”

He fixed her with a flat look. “You asked me to change back. You gave up on me, Rose Tyler.”

She flinched. Those words were almost the first thing he’d said to her after waking up and they still hurt because they were true, in a way. She hadn’t given up, but she had doubted him. She’d been confused and she’d doubted him and he’d called her out on it. Her guilt, mixed with hurt and anger at his keeping secrets made her strike back at him. “So I doubted you. Can’t imagine why, Doctor,” she snapped. “How many times?”

He blinked in confusion.

“How many times‘ve you changed?” she said through clenched teeth.

His face was guarded, cautious. “A few.”

“ _How many_?”

He sighed, slipping his hands into the pockets of his borrowed dressing gown. “Nine times. This is my tenth body.”

“Nine times,” she repeated tightly. “You’ve regenerated _nine_ times. You knew this could happen anytime you were hurt, anytime we were caught or captured, and you never told me.”

He flinched and said nothing, the breeze ruffling his thick brown hair.

“I travelled with you for over a year, trusted you with my life, my secrets, with everything and you never told me that you could _change_ your _face_ when you were dying. Never told me you’d done it before.” She shook her head, strands of hair drifting into her face. “I tried to respect your privacy, Doctor. Never asked you to tell me about the Time War or pushed you to share things you didn’t want to. But this was something that you _should’ve_ told me.”

Still nothing.

Rose shook her head in disgust. “So fine, I doubted you. I was confused, I was terrified, Doctor! We were on the Gamestation and then we weren’t. I still have no idea what happened there! I woke up and the Doctor I knew caught fire and then suddenly there’s you. One minute you were the you I knew and then you were a stranger! Then you crash land us here and fall into a coma. _And_ we got invaded by aliens.” She glared at him, eyes full of angry tears. “Everyone wanted to know where you were when the Sycorax came, what had happened to you and I couldn’t tell them because I didn’t _know_! I couldn’t tell them, ‘Oh, he’s just regenerated. He’ll be fine in a bit,’ because I didn’t know that Doctor!”

Finally, he spoke. “Rose,” he said softly, but she wasn’t having any of it. He’d started this, he’d accused her of letting him down and she was going to make damn sure that knew he’d let her down too.

“I thought you were _dyin_ ’, Doctor.” She choked back a sob and dashed angry tears from her face. “You wouldn’t move, wouldn’t wake up and this gold stuff was comin’ out of your mouth.” She glared at him. “For all I knew, that’s how Time Lords die. All I could do was check your hearts with that stupid stethoscope every ten minutes because then at least I knew you were alive.”

His face was slightly pale now, and he looked ashamed. “I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t- didn’t mean to frighten you.”

She barked a bitter laugh. “Frighten me? You scared the bloody life out of me, Doctor. So don’t you go accusin’ me of not trustin’ you. It’s _you_ who doesn’t trust _me_. If you’d trusted me you would have told me about regeneration. I‘m your companion, Doctor- I needed to know.”

“I do trust you,” he said quietly, eyes trained on the ground.

“Right.” She snorted. “’Course you do. Silly me, don’t know what I was thinkin’.” She turned to stare at the TARDIS, refusing to look at him.

“I do!” he insisted, lifting his eyes to her face.

She still refused to look at him.

Sighing, he shuffled closer to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Rose.”

She scowled and shrugged off his hand. “What?”

“ _Rose_ ,” he said again. He took her by the shoulders and turned her gently towards him. He flinched when he saw the tear tracks on her face. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Rose blinked furiously and said nothing.

“I am,” he said heavily. “I’m so, so sorry, but you have to believe me, Rose, it was never about me not trusting you.”

She scrubbed angrily at the tears. “Then what was it about?” she snapped. “’Cos from over here, that’s exactly what it looks like.”

He shook his head. “I swear to you, Rose, I trust you.”

She glared at him. “Then why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice shook with hurt.

He sighed. “I…it wasn’t because of anything you’d done. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you. I…I was afraid of how you’d take it. You have to admit, it’s pretty...confronting.”

She snorted. “You think?”

He smiled weakly. “Right. So….I was afraid that it might be too much, too _alien_ and you’d leave. That you wouldn’t be able to take it. And I honestly expected to outlive you in that body, so I just kept putting off telling you until…until it happened. But it was never because I didn’t trust you, Rose!”

Rose scowled at him. “That’s exactly what it was about Doctor. You thinkin’ I might take off because suddenly I find out another alien thing about you shows you don’t trust me. You thinkin’ I won’t keep my promise to stay with you because of this shows you don’t trust me. You thinkin’ it’s better not to tell me something important because you reckon I can’t take it shows you don’t trust me.”

He sighed. “I suppose, if you put it that way, then yes, in a way it was. But it wasn’t because of anything you’d done. I was just…afraid. I was afraid of losing you.” He swallowed. “I’m _still_ afraid of losing you.”

Rose sighed in frustration. “Doctor, I stayed with you when you ignored me and the Gelth almost killed us. I stayed through an alien invasion in Downing street and nearly bein’ killed _there_. I stayed with you after getting’ you killed and watchin’ my dad die, twice. I stayed with you after you had me missing for a year. I’ve stayed with you after bein’ kidnapped and drugged and jailed and injured. I stayed even when you _tricked_ me-” and here she glared at him “-and sent me away even though I didn’t want to leave you. I came back to die with you! I stayed even though you regenerated and you’d never told me about it and I didn’t understand what was happenin’.” She glared at him. “Just what do I have to do to prove myself to you, Doctor? How much is enough for you? What do I have to do to show you I mean it?”

He looked down at the ground, cheeks flushed with shame. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “You’re right. You’ve more than proven yourself, and…I’m sorry.”

She sniffed angrily and scrubbed her face again.

“I mean it Rose. I’m so sorry and you’re right. I should have told you, should’ve trusted that you’d never turn away from me for something like that.”

“Too right,” she muttered, sniffling again.

The Doctor looked up then, and gently cupped her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs. “I am so, so sorry for doubting you, for scaring you like that Rose. I really am. You’ve proven yourself to me enough times that I should have known better. And you’re right- you’re my companion, it was something you needed to know and I should have told you. I was in the wrong.”

Rose stared at him, seeing his sincerity and her anger slowly started to recede. “You mean it?”

“Yes!” He nodded rapidly. “Of course I do. You _have_ proven yourself. Never think you haven’t. It’s just…hard to share things sometimes.” He sighed, his eyes suddenly showing every one of his nine hundred years. “I’ve lived a long time, Rose. I stay on and everyone else dies. Even my people are…gone. There’s just me, now. And so I suppose it’s easier to keep some part of myself apart, to protect myself and I just got so used to keeping secrets….” He shrugged.

She was quiet for a moment. “I get that,” she said finally. “I do, Doctor. But you can’t hide somethin’ that could mean life or death for one or both of us. I need to know that you’re goin’ to be honest with me about things like this.”

“You’re right.” He nodded earnestly. “And I will, I promise.”

She tilted her head. “So you won’t do it anymore? You won’t hide things I should know? And you won’t trick me again?” she asked pointedly. “And don’t you dare tell me it was to keep me safe- I wanted to stay with you, I would’ve died with you, Doctor. You didn’t have the right to take that choice from me.”

He sighed. “I...I won’t apologise for trying to keep you safe. I’ll always want you safe, Rose. But…I am sorry for tricking you.”

“You should be,” she told him seriously. “Don’t you ever do it again. Don’t-” Her voice broke. “Don’t send me away.”

He nodded soberly.

She didn’t press him for more assurance because she still wasn’t entirely sure of this new Doctor, of when to push and when not to. Because was her Doctor and yet he wasn’t. Also, she was still hurt that he hadn’t told her and instead she’d had a baptism by fire.

And because now that the anger was receding, the guilt was setting in.

She felt guilty for doubting him. She knew that it wasn’t unreasonable, given everything that had happened, but still. She’d doubted the Doctor and she hated it.

“So,” he said, scuffing the ground with his slipper. “Are we ok?”

Rose gave him a small smile, her stomach pricking with guilt and anxiety. “I dunno. Can you forgive me for doubting you? And for asking you to change back? I didn’t mean...I was scared,” she said quietly. “I thought I was losin’ you. ‘M sorry, Doctor and I _can_ accept this you, I really can. So.” She swallowed. “Can you forgive me?”

A slow smile spread across his face, easing her anxiety. “Of course I can, Rose Tyler.” He smiled and nudged her shoulder. “I can and do forgive you. Forgive me for keeping this from you?”

“Yeah.” She smiled shyly. “Jus’ don’t do it again.”

“So?” he asked again. “Are we OK?”

“Yeah, s’pose we are.” She grinned nervously and tilted her head. “You comin’ to Christmas dinner? Mum made mince pies. ‘S good,” she added nervously.

He smiled. “Yeah, why not? I’ll just….just give me a minute to get changed. Can’t be having Christmas dinner in Howard’s jimjams.” He grimaced. “And that was more than I ever needed to know about Jackie.”

Rose shuddered. “Tell me about it.” She turned to make her way up to the flat. “Don’t…don’t be too long, yeah?”

“I won’t,” he promised.

“K’ay.” She smiled. “Oh ‘n Doctor? Merry Christmas.”

With that, she made her way into the building, the door slamming behind her.

In spite of everything, the Doctor grinned.

Oh, he’d kept secrets from her and she’d doubted him. She was still tiptoeing around him, and he wasn’t sure she’d quite accepted the new him yet, but in the end, they were here. They’d survived the Gamestation and the Sycorax. It was still the two of them, the Doctor and Rose Tyler together in the TARDIS. As it should be.

Hearing the church bells peal in the distance, his grin widened.

In spite of everything, it was going to be a very merry Christmas indeed.


End file.
